In December 2015, we constituted a perpetrator contact group. The victim and her support group were handing over this task and had written a document about the aims, principles and tasks they saw for this group.* Five people living in different cities joined this group and have worked since then to hold the perpetrator accountable according to the demands formulated in the letter. At this point, four years later, he hasn‘t done any of these demands. In December 2015, we constituted a perpetrator contact group. The victim and her support group were handing over this task and had written a document about the aims, principles and tasks they saw for this group.* Five people living in different cities joined this group and have worked since then to hold the perpetrator accountable according to the demands formulated in the letter. At this point, four years later, he hasn‘t done any of these demands.
First, we asked him to seek critical help to recall and understand what he has done in order to change. However, he refused to do perpetrator work and never provided us with reflections on his behaviour. His refusal to identify as a perpetrator implied that his circumstances were to blame for his behaviour instead of taking responsibility for it. He never wanted to talk to anyone who took on the victim‘s perspective but only to people who he thought would empathise with his perspective. Second, we wanted him to inform any new political environment and sexual partners about his abusive behaviour in order to prevent future abuse. He told us that he has informed his current partner about the process but we don‘t know if he provided them with the open letter. He further continued to do organizing without informing the people he worked with. We tried to work with him on that, giving ground, but he just took what he could get and still didn‘t do the things he had agreed to. Third, we wanted him to stay accountable but often he didn‘t reply to emails or attend scheduled meetings.
Concluding, we thus have to state that he has failed to do any of the three demands and with that has been supported by a network of people legitimising this behaviour. The contact group traveled to London to inform and meet comrades and friends of his and include them into the process. We still believe that he needs to do these demands and that his surrounding has a responsibility to hold him accountable. However, as part of the work in the perpetrator group it was important to realise that one could not force someone to change, particularly when they are well supported by people and structures that operate on a basis of rape apologism. Ultimately we as a contact group can only put demands to the perpetrator and offer the victim‘s perspective, it cannot force the perpetrator to do anything and should not take responsibility for his actions.